Sister Patricia On: The Feast of St. Anthony

(Sister Patricia Owens O’Flannery, OP, a post-modern pre-traditional  omni-spiritual Dominican sister, was a rather irregular contributor to Acts of the Apostasy, back in the day. Today marks her return to blogging, where she offers her thoughts on the Feast of St. Anthony. I think.)

Well, well, well. Turns out praying to some saint named Anthony really does work.

When LarryD restructured his old blog, he conveniently forgot to mention anything to me. Rather than consult the spirits of my ancestors, or escalate to the Poetic Tapestry of Jesuitic Universal Consciousness (that’s a four hour ritual, people. Jesuits never do anything easy!), I took the advice of a friend and prayed to St. Anthony.

“St Anthony, St Anthony, please come around. Larry’s ditched me again, and his blog can’t be found!”

And wouldn’t you know it, before you could say “Morphogenetic Fields of Higher Elemental Comprehension”, I found his new blog. A Catholic Misfit. It’s kismet, isn’t it? The name simply oozes ‘Sister Patricia’, a divine coalescence conjoined to my ethereal oneness and being! You know it’s true, dear friends: I AM the original Catholic Misfit.

Fortunately, my hacking skills are as proficient as my labyrinth-navigation skills (they’re strangely similar, if you think about it), and within moments, I had gained access. It is so grand to return to blogging, along with a newfound fondness for this St. Anthony of Padua person (I just absolutely adore the Japanese saints, don’t you?). I wonder if he can help me find my lost chakras, too? Oh, and I’ve misplaced my favorite set of reiki stones! Sr. Raqanne Rolle borrowed them last week, and claims to have returned them. However, they’re not next to my hand-crafted, Himalayan Pine Home Incense Dehumidifier where they belong (Home tip: always store your incense in a dehumidifier. Especially with the Summer Solstice approaching! Keep your powder dry!!).

Anyway, since I’m here, I may as well fill you in on what’s been going on in my life. I don’t even know where to start, my life has been such a whirlwind! My on-line liturgical dancing classes are fully booked, with loooong waiting lists. I may have to franchise, it’s that busy. I’ve been consulting with Oregon Press on new hymns and spiritual music, too. Quite fun, but frankly, the latest crop of composers have a long way to go before they can even hope to stoop to the depths of Haugen and Schuette. Oh, and this is very exciting! A kind soul donated a sculpture to our convent, saying it’s a representation of Jesus at the very moment of the Resurrection! Isn’t it inspiring??

At first we were a little suspicious, because we were sure Jesus had a beard. And it looks vaguely familiar. But who really knows how Jesus looked after His resurrection, right? It’s hanging in our cigar and whiskey lounge, and gives us much to contemplate concerning divinity and the mysteries of The Force.

I wish I had more time to chat, but there are so many tasks on the Summer Solstice to-do list! The polyester vestments won’t sew themselves, you know! As they say in that weird Latin language, Tempers fugues!

May the ever-expanding expanse of Sophia’s expansive Light and Consciousness enfold you in holistic holy wholeness, and infuse your souls with levity and mirth!

Oh – and thank you St Anthony for answering my prayer! Hopefully he’ll answer the one concerning my old blog posts….

Bottom Photo credit: Karen_O’D on Visual Hunt / CC BY

p.s. It seems LarryD has ditched his gnome de plum, which I suggested he do years ago. It’s nice he’s finally taken my advice.