It’s that time of year, folks. Drive through any city or suburb, and you’ll see the ubiquitous sign in front of nearly every church and Christian place of worship:
“Enroll your child in VBS today!”
The themes for such week-long excursions into (hopefully) strengthening the kidlets’ faith tend to be innocuous and innocent. For instance, the one at my parish this summer was titled “Lava Lava Island: Shipwrecked! Saved by Jesus!” I’ve no idea what they all did, or what activities they had. Did they make Wilson volleyball pals? Was it like an episode of Survivor, where they competed and each afternoon someone was voted out of VBS? Did they take names like Ralph, Jack, and Piggy, set signal fires and hunt a wild boar?
All kidding aside, I’m sure the attendees had a great week, coming to know and love Jesus and His Church more deeply. However, a lot of themes get rejected because they either lack prudence or are, dare I say it, a bit too avant garde even for today’s progressive and with it Christian. Very few people are aware of this.
Fortunately for you, we at A Catholic Misfit have uncovered a list of Vacation Bible School themes, and happily present to you, in no particular order, the Top Ten rejected themes.
10) Let’s Burn Heretics!
9) How to Write Like a National Catholic Reporter Columnist
8) Sheeps and Goats: Surviving Armageddon
7) It’s Conclave Time!
6) Can I Haz Virtue Signaling?
5) MMA Cage Match Training
4) Sacramental Wine Tasting
3) Building Your Podcast Audience
2) Sharing Our Faith Through Passive-Aggressive Outrage
1) Get Blogging!
1 and 2 might be redundant.
If you know of other rejected themes, leave them in the combox. We all could use some laughs and chuckles.
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